Being old AF, I’m usually pretty far behind the curve when it comes to discovering new music but with Jade Bird, I’m fairly on point thanks to my buddy, Babar (not the elephant).  Babs made me listen to Jade Bird’s ear worm “Uh Huh” and I was instantly smitten with this little badass.  I couldn't get enough of her.


Have you been so passionate about something, so laser-focused on it that you lost sight of your peripheral realities and then the whole thing bit you in the ass? One such passion for me was the weapons-grade outlandish theme parties I held for my daughter when she was growing up..


This is a love story: 30 years and counting. It is 1978; I am 12-years-old and barely enduring 7th-grade in a sweltering Texas classroom. My husband is sitting behind me, blowing spitwads into my hair. He was very, very annoying. And yet, I married him anyway.


I have known since 1976 that I will live to be 97 years old, just like my great-grandmother.  I was 10-years-old when she died and at her funeral, I distinctly remember thinking wow, 97 is a fucking auspicious age to end on; I will do that too. So just like that, it was settled; I would live to be 97.  I firmly believed this until last week.


Living with a Great Dane is in every conceivable way exactly like having livestock in our home.  Even more so than having a bunch of young children in the house because with kids, the stench, poop, noise and destructive powers are spread across several small bodies instead of compounded inside one 186-pound olfactory assault weapon who believes he is a teensy widdle lap dog. ​​ So why do we do it?  Why do we hemorrhage cash on the food and care of these leviathans only to be repaid with a pneumo...


I have been swearing semi-professionally since I was about 10-years-old.  That’s the first time I remember using the word “fuck” and feeling the rush that comes from the impact such a word makes.  If used properly, swearing wields power, commands attention, and according to Psychology Today, “provides physical and mental health benefits,” including pain relief, social bonding, increased circulation, elevated endorphins and an overall sense of calm, control, and well-being.  Who knew?  Uhh, this...


How I MET DAX SHEPARD AND MONICA PADMAN!!! And no, this did not only happen in my imagination like it normally does.


Who knew it would be so hard to find the balance between work and fuckaboutery?   I’m two weeks into this retirement gig and I’m somehow already six weeks behind on every front.  I am a part-time marketing person for The Hubby’s company, part-time blogger and part-time artist.  That’s 33% more jobs than I had beforeI retired and I’m not sure how to do them all, do them well and still have time to be the library-lounging lady of luxury I envisioned.


How did I go from an anxiety-ridden, suicidally depressed, self-absorbed, agoraphobic wreck who couldn’t be conscious on an airplane or step on an escalator or leave her house, even just to go to the grocery store, without having a brain-melting panic attack to being a potty-mouthed, swaggering, self-assured, self-absorbed (some things never change), in-charge broad whose official job title for the last six years was “Queen,” who nonchalantly hops on planes to have adventures with her family wh...


How to electrocute your sister in law and then be absolved of your treachery by faux Cher on Broadway

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