Reason #732 Why Aging Sucks

Add this to the list of things that suck about getting old:

Barnacles of life. I swear to God, this is a real thing - look it up. Here, I'll look it up for you.... No, never mind. Every article I found was accompanied by pictures and I won't do that to you. And take my advice, don't do that to yourself either.

Just wait until you find your very own little splotch hiding beneath your hair and when you show your petite and perfectly flawless dermatologist (who is 10 years older than you but looks 20 years younger) she will nonchalantly say, "Oh that? That's nothing, just a barnacle of life." Utter. Stomach-wrenching. Horror.

My response was to jump off the exam table and tower over her (seriously, she's really tiny), and scream-whisper, "I HAVE BARNACLES??!?" I must have scared her because then she tried to soften the blow by timidly suggesting that "some people call them wisdom spots?" Blow not softened.

I hope you handle the news better but I won't judge you if you don't.