top of page

Monthly Moonshine - Turkey Day Edition




GOBBLE GOBBLE, MOTHERCLUCKERS

On a scale of “I need a glass of wine” to “I need a shovel, some duct tape and a loyal friend with a certain moral ambiguity to help me bury the bodies,” how stressful are you expecting the upcoming holidays to be? Our Kiddo will be precisely 1,037 miles away from home for Thanksgiving this year and I rate that about an “I need a hot cocoa with whiskey, two episodes of The Great British Baking Show, and at least 22 unbroken minutes of rubbing a warm dog belly. And pie.

Since the holidays can be stressful for many of us for many reasons, I thought I’d share some helpful ways of coping with the anxiety, meltdowns, melodrama, burnt turkey, political squabbles and generally exhausting fuckery this time of year begets.

COPING MECHANISM 1:

FREE PRESCRIPTION DRUG SAMPLES!

There’s a team of doctors in the San Francisco area who have actually been writing old-school paper prescriptions that encourage their patients to get regular doses of joy and self-compassion. Here’s a FREE SAMPLE of the prescription “drugs” these docs are pushing:

1. Take a few deep breaths

2. Call an old friend (call me!)

3. Give someone a hug

4. Help a friend in need

5. Write a thank you note

6. Sing in the shower

7. Dance to your favorite song

8. Go for a walk in a beautiful place

9. Forgive someone

10. Talk to yourself with a kinder voice

If you’re feeling like this was a mean trick because you believed you were getting free drugs and then all you got was a list of platitudes, then

A) I’m sorry

B) That kind of cynicism is why we’re friends

C) Come on over to my place, I’m sure I can scrounge up something more tangible.

 

COPING MECHANISM 2: BINGE!

At any point in the holiday chaos if you need to take a healing sofa-spud sabbatical, I highly recommend these shows and audiobooks for your bingeing pleasure. WARM FUZZIES TO RESTORE YOUR FAITH IN HUMANITY OR AT LEAST FEEL COMFY AND COZY IF YOU WATCH IN YOUR PJ'S

  1. Welcome to Wrexham – Ryan Reynolds and Rob McIlhenny buy a Welsh soccer team. It’s like a real-life Ted Lasso and I hope I’ve made my evangelical devotion to Ted Lasso clear by now. Ted Lasso is Life.

  2. Corner Gas – a Canadian comedy that manages to be funny and wholesome and charming all at the same time. (I’ve only been able to stream this on Prime).

  3. Solar Opposites season 3 – go back and watch seasons 1 and 2 if you haven’t yet. Hint: keep your eyes peeled for the the Pupa in the background of the Wall episodes. This show is kinda dark, twisted humor, but they really do love each other and have a sweet family bond.

  4. Pivoting – I’d never heard of this, it just popped up in recommendations. Hilarious! Only one season, sadly.

  5. The Kominsky Method – again. I don’t even know how many times I’ve watched and re-watched this series, but it’s an uplifting, heart-melting marvel every time.

  6. The Bob Newhart and Mary Tyler Moore shows from the 70’s. Those of us “of a certain age” (e.g., old AF) will float luxuriously in the nostalgia of it all.

DRAMAS THAT MAKE YOUR LIFE SEEM CALM AND EMOTIONALLY WELL-ADJUSTED BY COMPARISON

  1. The Old Man – reawakened my lifelong crush on Jeff Bridges (Still? Always.). He and co-star John Lithgow are in peak form in a love/hate bromance that is an intense clash between two super-likable characters. Only one season so far.

  2. Yellowstone – I usually describe this as the modern day cowboy version of Game of Thrones with Beth Dutton as a badass of near-Khaleesi proportions. She doesn’t have dragons, but she does have Rip and that may be better.

THREE BOOKS THAT WILL CAPTIVATE FOR VERY DIFFERENT REASONS

  1. David Sedaris’s Happy Go Lucky – read PERFECTLY and hilariously by the author who is a National Goddamn Treasure.

  2. What Happened to You by Oprah Winfrey and Bruce D. Perry -- so much mind-blowing info in here, I keep having to stop and let it soak in before continuing my listening. And I do recommend listening rather than reading, it feels more accessible somehow, like you’re just listening to a conversation between two really smart friends.

  3. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson. Brilliant, life-altering thoughts, advice, stories to help you help yourself by only giving your fucks away on things that truly matter to you. Seriously, if I could afford to gift this book to everyone I know, I would


 

THE VOTES ARE IN:

BONA LISA vs. BONE CRAWFORD

You voted by an overwhelming margin for the Bona Lisa with Her Worshippers décor. I would have guessed Bona Lisa DEVOURING Her Worshippers but whatever –- as long as Jenny Lawson’s Bone Crawford didn’t win. I’m sure she’ll outdo me next year but for now I shall savor my victory.









 

AND NOW HAPPY MOONSHINEY STUFF I FOUND ON THE INTERWEBS

(STARTING WITH SHAMELESS SELF PROMOTION)


🎁 THE PERFECT GIFT! 🎁

(Shameless self-promotion #1)

Available now -- ready and waiting for you! Just pop over to my SHOP to nab it today...



 

A PERFECTLY FROGGY MORNING

Start your day with this artistic, tranquil wonder. It's way easier than meditating and has the same effect.













 

IT'S MOTHERF*CKING YOU SEASON

Words of wisdom from one magical unicorn to another (YOU).









 

THE SAD, SAD (HILARIOUS) FATE OF THANKSGIVING

Don't you have some college kids to offend?





 

I'M NOT CRYING -- YOU'RE CRYING









 

SLOTHY GOODNESS FOR KRISTEN BELL

(Shameless self promotion #2)

My TikTok video has over 26,000 views and yet NONE of them are Kristen Bell or Dax Shepard… yet! Please feel free to share, share, share and we'll eventually get it to Dax or Kristen! You can share the YouTube video or the TikTok or send folks straight to my SHOP


1 Comment


This is a very good article to read and refer to. Thank you for sharing this article with your readers. jacksmith

Like
Follow Me
Instagram Posts

Subscribe

Sign up here to see new posts!  It's fun because sometimes I hit the "publish" button before things are all polished up and there's a lot of experimental swearing.  Seriously, a LOT.  

bottom of page