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A Little AboutMe (Version One)

I have a theory that the best way to get to know someone is to browse their bookcase.  And their DVD collection.  And their music.  And their medicine cabinet - you get the idea.  Now you know what I'll be doing in your home if you should ever invite me over.  In the spirit of full transparency, here is what you would see if you were to snoop through my actual stuff.  I've included handy links to everything just in case you feel like we have kindred tastes and you want to do some 3 a.m. shopping. 

My Studio

Actual Contents of Medicine Cabinet

vitamin D

vitamin B

tumeric

magnesium

disgusting fish oil

17 pairs of glasses in varying styles/colors

multiple boxes of contacts and contact solution

12 pairs of readers

Klonopin (Clonazepam - the generic stuff)

Scissors (for when I get frustrated with my hair and decide to trim it myself. Bad idea.)

toothpaste

deodorant

makeup remover

$546 worth of useless anti-wrinkle creams and eye serums because I will #buyanyfuckingthing.

Fave Books on My Library Shelves

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy 5-book trilogy - Douglas Adams

Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency - Douglas Adams

Lamb - Christopher Moore

Dirty Job - Christopher Moore

The Harry Potter series - JK Rowling

How to Be Famous - Caitlin Moran

My Grandmother Asked Me to Tell You She's Sorry  - Fredrik Bachman

Furiously Happy - Jenny Lawson

Let's Pretend This Never Happened - Jenny Lawson

Hyperbole and a Half - Allie Brosh

Sylvester and the Magic Pebble - William Steig

Me Talk Pretty One Day - David Sedaris

Animalia - Graeme Base

Flawed Dogs - Berke Breathed

Hunger Games trilogy - Suzanne Collins

Tell Me Something Happy Before I Go to Sleep - Joyce Dunbar

The Story of Ferdinand - Munro Leaf

The Four Agreements - Don Miguel Ruiz

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A Little AboutMe (Version Two)

WHO I AM

If I were a Game of Thrones character, my prior titles would include: Server of Ice Cream, Fabricator of Advertising Fictions, Corrector of Misspelled Words, Counselor of Handi-capable Youth, Purveyor of Books, Seller of Toys and Queen of Office Dwellers, plus my current titles: Lady of House Rubey, Mother of an Untamed Ginger, Mother of Danes, Collector of Crap, Connoisseur of Expletives, and finally, Blogger at Xanaru, Artist, and Fuckabout. (i.e. one who just sort of … fucks about. For a living).

 

HOW I GOT HERE

Before recognizing the Blogger/Artist/Fuckabout triumvirate as my true calling, I spent decades searching for meaningful and fulfilling employment, all the while, battling panic disorder, agoraphobia, and the twin demons of anxiety and depression.

I won those battles, for the most part, by realizing that I did better when I saw them as an alarm system to be heeded instead of an enemy to be vanquished. I’m not saying anxiety and depression are welcome visitors, but when they come knocking, I take a deep breath and reluctantly let them in because they only turn up when I need to know that something vital is missing in my life. That doesn’t happen much nowadays thanks to my adorable/adoring Hubby, our wise and wonderful daughter, and our preposterous dogs, all basking in the warm embrace of a picturesque mountain town full of pretentious douchebags just like me. These are the ridiculous, maddening, scary, hilarious, sappy experiences that I write about on Xanaru.com.

 

WHERE I’M GOING (PLEASE TAG ALONG)

My hope is to use the blog to build a vibrant community of weirdos, loons and witty misfits. I want Xanaru to be a launching point for friendships and creative collaborations and if I’m being honest, some snarky debates because I enjoy those too.

I will write diverting and delightful stories like That Time I Nearly Killed 12 Girls at a Birthday Party and How to Electrocute Your Sister in Law. Readers will comment, share opinions and banter back and forth; eventually our society catches the eye of a book publisher which leads to a massively best-selling humorous memoir and grows our community exponentially until we take over the world. In a good way, not a sinister way with maniacal finger-tenting or weird, hairless cats.

On the artistic front, I will keep delighting clients with unique, hand-painted, customized anything-their-hearts-desire -- bags, shoes, jackets, wallets -- whatever makes them smile and makes them the envy of Instagram.

 

And that is how this site brings about world peace -- by making people smile with artwork and my quest for happiness and connection through authenticity, Great Danes and indiscriminate swearing.

One of these is me
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