A Little AboutMe (Version One)
I have a theory that the best way to get to know someone is to browse their bookcase. And their DVD collection. And their music. And their medicine cabinet - you get the idea. Now you know what I'll be doing in your home if you should ever invite me over. In the spirit of full transparency, here is what you would see if you were to snoop through my actual stuff. I've included handy links to everything just in case you feel like we have kindred tastes and you want to do some 3 a.m. shopping.
Television & Streaming
My Music Library
Actual Contents of Medicine Cabinet
disgusting fish oil
17 pairs of glasses in varying styles/colors
multiple boxes of contacts and contact solution
12 pairs of readers
Klonopin (Clonazepam - the generic stuff)
Scissors (for when I get frustrated with my hair and decide to trim it myself. Bad idea.)
$546 worth of useless anti-wrinkle creams and eye serums because I will #buyanyfuckingthing.
Fave Books on My Library Shelves
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy 5-book trilogy - Douglas Adams
Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency - Douglas Adams
Lamb - Christopher Moore
Dirty Job - Christopher Moore
The Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
How to Be Famous - Caitlin Moran
My Grandmother Asked Me to Tell You She's Sorry - Fredrik Bachman
Furiously Happy - Jenny Lawson
Let's Pretend This Never Happened - Jenny Lawson
Hyperbole and a Half - Allie Brosh
Sylvester and the Magic Pebble - William Steig
Me Talk Pretty One Day - David Sedaris
Animalia - Graeme Base
Flawed Dogs - Berke Breathed
Hunger Games trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Tell Me Something Happy Before I Go to Sleep - Joyce Dunbar
The Story of Ferdinand - Munro Leaf
The Four Agreements - Don Miguel Ruiz
Movies in My Library
Zombieland (it's a love story, I promise.)
Deadpool (also a love story. Sort of.)
Deadpool 2 (still a love story. Sort of.)
The Proposal (totally a love story)
Big Fish (another love story)
Say Anything (80's love)
(Did you spot the pattern? Ummm, yeah, I'm kind of a sap.)
A Little AboutMe (Version Two)
WHO I AM
If I were a Game of Thrones character, my prior titles would include: Server of Ice Cream, Fabricator of Advertising Fictions, Corrector of Misspelled Words, Counselor of Handi-capable Youth, Purveyor of Books, Seller of Toys and Queen of Office Dwellers, plus my current titles: Lady of House Rubey, Mother of an Untamed Ginger, Mother of Danes, Collector of Crap, Connoisseur of Expletives, and finally, Blogger at Xanaru, Artist, and Fuckabout. (i.e. one who just sort of … fucks about. For a living).
HOW I GOT HERE
Before recognizing the Blogger/Artist/Fuckabout triumvirate as my true calling, I spent decades searching for meaningful and fulfilling employment, all the while, battling panic disorder, agoraphobia, and the twin demons of anxiety and depression.
I won those battles, for the most part, by realizing that I did better when I saw them as an alarm system to be heeded instead of an enemy to be vanquished. I’m not saying anxiety and depression are welcome visitors, but when they come knocking, I take a deep breath and reluctantly let them in because they only turn up when I need to know that something vital is missing in my life. That doesn’t happen much nowadays thanks to my adorable/adoring Hubby, our wise and wonderful daughter, and our preposterous dogs, all basking in the warm embrace of a picturesque mountain town full of pretentious douchebags just like me. These are the ridiculous, maddening, scary, hilarious, sappy experiences that I write about on Xanaru.com.
WHERE I’M GOING (PLEASE TAG ALONG)
My hope is to use the blog to build a vibrant community of weirdos, loons and witty misfits. I want Xanaru to be a launching point for friendships and creative collaborations and if I’m being honest, some snarky debates because I enjoy those too.
I will write diverting and delightful stories like That Time I Nearly Killed 12 Girls at a Birthday Party and How to Electrocute Your Sister in Law. Readers will comment, share opinions and banter back and forth; eventually our society catches the eye of a book publisher which leads to a massively best-selling humorous memoir and grows our community exponentially until we take over the world. In a good way, not a sinister way with maniacal finger-tenting or weird, hairless cats.
On the artistic front, I will keep delighting clients with unique, hand-painted, customized anything-their-hearts-desire -- bags, shoes, jackets, wallets -- whatever makes them smile and makes them the envy of Instagram.
And that is how this site brings about world peace -- by making people smile with artwork and my quest for happiness and connection through authenticity, Great Danes and indiscriminate swearing.