Search

- May 14, 2019
- 5 min
Mother of Danes (or Why I Sleep with Livestock)
Living with a Great Dane is in every conceivable way exactly like having livestock in our home. Even more so than having a bunch of young c

- May 7, 2019
- 3 min
I Swear to You: Dispatch from a Cursing Connoisseur
I have been swearing semi-professionally since I was about 10-years-old. That’s the first time I remember using the word “fuck” and feeling

- Apr 20, 2019
- 5 min
I MET DAX SHEPARD AND MONICA PADMAN!!!
How I MET DAX SHEPARD AND MONICA PADMAN!!! And no, this did not only happen in my imagination like it normally does.

- Apr 16, 2019
- 3 min
I Know There's A Balance, I've Seen It When I Swing Past
Who knew it would be so hard to find the balance between work and fuckaboutery? I’m two weeks into this retirement gig and I’m somehow alr

- Apr 13, 2019
- 6 min
How Did I Get Here?
How did I go from an anxiety-ridden, suicidally depressed, self-absorbed, agoraphobic wreck who couldn’t be conscious on an airplane or step

- Apr 5, 2019
- 6 min
How to Electrocute Your Sister-in-Law
How to electrocute your sister in law and then be absolved of your treachery by faux Cher on Broadway

- Apr 2, 2019
- 4 min
Leader, Co-Worker or Food: Which One Are You?
Standing shoulder to shoulder in a crowded train car at Denver International Airport, I looked around at my fellow passengers to make my usu

- Mar 31, 2019
- 3 min
Let the F*ckabout-ery Begin
How to divert an identity crisis by donning a powdered wig and ruffled collar and acting out a song that Lin Manuel Miranda wrote and then c