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Apr 14, 20171 min read
Reason #732 Why Aging Sucks
Add this to the list of things that suck about getting old: Barnacles of life. I swear to God, this is a real thing - look it up. Here,...
Mar 12, 20171 min read
All The Mom-Feels of a College Campus Tour
All the emotions during my daughter's future college campus as told with GIFs.
Mar 7, 20175 min read
How I Met a Nearly-Naked Kevin Costner in His Living Room
Did I ever tell you about the time I met a nearly-naked Kevin Costner in his living room? Here's how it happened. Let's hop in the...
Feb 17, 20179 min read
A Gentle Love Letter to Menopause - With Swearing
Dear Menopause, Look, you fucking cunt-faced bag of rabid dicks, I’m calling you out. Show up and fight me like a woman. You’ve been...
Feb 5, 20174 min read
Claritin D Hallucinations
Claritin D is a psychoactive hallucinagen for me. It's the D part that does it and I'm starting to suspect that it always has. Which...
Jan 31, 20174 min read
The Chihuahua That Poops Pearls
At 2 a.m. this morning, I was awakened by dozens of tiny but annoying stabbing sensations in my butt and I reached down under the covers to
Jan 29, 20171 min read
A Miracle Written in Doggy Snot
This is a noseprint that Gemma left on the mirror behind my bedroom door and what I clearly see scrawled in doggy snot is "I ❤️ U&quo
Jan 24, 20173 min read
I Will Always Love You Gemma Junebug
Yesterday my darling Great Dane puppy, Gemma Junebug, died during her spay surgery. This is a tribute to her and the amazing light she broug
Jan 22, 20172 min read
Mother F***ing Girl Power
I wore my pink pussyshirt (not a knitter so I had to substitute pussyshirt for pussyhat), AND I wore my Mother Fucking Girl Power socks....
Jan 22, 20171 min read
Horrible Genius
Wife: "I found this cute little dog outside... he' scared. I'm going to bring him inside. He seems cold." Husband: THAT